I was at the gas station the other day and someone ahead of me was buying lottery tickets. Now, I hate standing behind these people, trying to pick and choose their instant win tickets and trying to relay the numbers for the Lotto, then trying to count out the cash, but this conversation takes the cake:

“Give me $20 of these, $5 of these, one of these, one of these, two of these, one of these and $5 in quick-pick”.
“That’ll be $35”
“Oh yeah, and $5 in gas on pump 3”
“That’ll be $40”
“Wait a sec, give me back the $5 for pump 3. Hopefully one of these tickets will be a winner and I can then fill up my tank”
“WOW! I won $5. Here ya go.”
clerk verifies and hands customer $5.
“I’ll take another $5 quick-pick and $5 on pump 3. Guess I won’t be filling my tank after all unless the quick-picks come through tonight.”

So, this genius started with $40, bought $35 in lottery tickets, won $5, cashed that back in for more lottery tickets, and was left with $5 to buy gas with for his beat up brown POS car outside. Now go home and kick the dog.